Nightmare
by Jellicle
Summary: A wall was built between Dean and Sam Winchester. Set after Asylum, but without the phone call on the last scene. Last chapte up. Happy ending, I promise.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Supernatural doesn't belong to me, unfortunately.

Notes: This short story takes place after Asylum, but without the phone call from Dad.

This story will probably sound a little off, so please forgive me. I wrote that in the heat of the moment. Tomorrow, when I read it again, I'll probably re-write it. But by now I needed to take this out of my chest.

There are no spoilers from future episodes, don't worry, and very few references to preview ones.

Feedback: Please, let me know what you think, and how I can improve. Just remember that English is not my native language, and this story is unbetaed so any mistakes are my fault.

One last note: I really hope Sam redeems himself in the next episode.

Love!

**Nightmare**

It had been a week but Sam couldn't get the incident out of his mind. Of course, he could use the shape shifter incident in his defense, but the truth was, what the fake Dean said was way different from what he did. For once, the shape shifter only revealed him that his brother was hurt when Sam left, and that his big brother envied him. That would sum it all. Now, what Dean heard – coming from the mouth of his baby brother, not a shape shifter at all, were painful words, cruel, harsh words. He was turned into less than nothing by what his brother said. Sam knew his brother was hurt but still he couldn't think of a way to fix it.

Dean tried to act towards his baby brother like nothing happened, but Sam noticed the wall that was built between them. They had their fights, their disagreements, but nothing like that.

Sam glanced in brother's direction. Dean was currently researching for their next gig, but he was taking longer than normal. The youngest Winchester tried and asked if they were taking a break but Dean said no, the business was just running slower than usual. "Maybe it is the time of the year," the hazel eyed boy joked. Truth was Dean was in pain. He didn't Sam help him with that wound in his chest and it ached like hell. Something inside the oldest Winchester brother couldn't allow his baby brother to come close like that; close to the injury inflicted by him self.

00000

Dean was weak and tired. He knew he had to take a decision, a decision that could change his life forever. But first, he needed a break. He needed to stop and think of a new plan of action. What led him to look for Sam's help was instinct, he acted of pure instinct. He knew deep inside that he could look for their Dad alone, but he didn't want to. He thought, deep inside, that this was the chance to have Sam back into his life, and God how he needed that. Dean didn't want to be alone. He felt alone enough, facing the world all by him self was something he didn't want to.

So, Dean decided to go to their headquarters. Later that day he informed Sam that they were heading to their apartment where their stuff still stood. Dean left a message on his father voicemail telling him to go meet them there. The shorter Winchester convinced Sam that he wanted to stay home in case his father showed up. The truth was that Dean was lost, more than he ever was.

00000

Being back home had its advantages. For once, they didn't have to pretend to be someone else because people there knew who they were. Their apartment was two blocks from their father's brother house. They were half of the family they had left. The other half, their mother family, somehow managed to think that what happened to Mary was John's idea, so the boys never really had contact with them. These relatives even threatened to take the boys from John, but he managed to convince them to not take away from him the only ones he had left. Actually, that was the last contact they had with their mother's family.

Dean and Sam were hardly ever staying in the same room for long. Since there were only the two of them in the apartment, they didn't have to share a room like they used to do. The moment they stepped into their old place Dean told Sam to pick their father's room since he probably "didn't feel the need to stay in his old bedroom."

Every now and then Sam was apologizing to Dean. He could sense that some of the animosity was fading but he wasn't sure things would ever be the same again. Their Aunt Felicity, who was the nearest they had as a mother figure, noticed the awkwardness between the brothers and tried to make them talk, fooling them with cake, candies and other yummys. They insisted that they were fine, and she gave up for the moment.

Days went by and the Winchester brothers didn't hear from their dad. Dean was starting to finally feel better and he knew that time was coming to hit the road again. What he hadn't decided yet was what to do with Sammy. He didn't want to force his little brother into that anymore but he knew that Sam would insist on following Dean, probably because of a guilt conscience. That was not what Dean wanted. He wanted his brother by his side because they were family, and Sam was in fact the only real friend he has, and he felt that he was responsible for Sam's life. He didn't know why, but one thing Dean knew for sure, it wasn't just because he saved his baby brother's life that fateful night. It was something deeply hidden in his mind that he couldn't reach, but that was there and helped Dean go on despite the life he led.

00000

Sam was in the living room of the Winchesters apartment looking through some old notebooks he didn't know his father had kept. He found them in his dad's room and started flipping through them. The boy was so concentrated in this little time travel that he didn't see time flying by and it took him a little to realize someone was knocking. Dean has left earlier that morning to run some errands – and Sam knew that they were getting ready to leave again. Realizing that Dean probably forgot to take the keys with him, he walked to the door.

Before grabbing the doorknob Sam realized something was wrong. He realized startled that he had been feeling odd for some time now, and he started to flip thought the family old stuff in order to ignore that feeling. But suddenly it hit him full force. Before opening the door, Sam already knew something was wrong.

Pulling the door wide opened, Sam met his Aunt's tear filled eyes.

"Sam, honey, Dean had an accident."

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Please, check chapter 1.

Author's notes: I'm sorry it took so long to update. I had a version of this written on my notebook, waiting to be typed, but today I decided to write this. I hope you all like it, but I warn you, this is really a tragedy angst fic, and this is an extremely angsty chapter, be warned.

Thank you all who read, who reviewed and thank you all who is going to read and review. Feedback is extremely appreciated.

There's still one chapter to come, okay?

Broken Sammy and hurt Dean on the way.

**Nightmare**

**Chapter 2**

"Sam, Sam! Wake up!"

The youngest Winchester mumbles something before finally opening his eyes to look at his brother, currently sitting on the foot of his bed. With his mind still half asleep, all Sam can get out was a whispered "what?"

"I thought we could talk," Dean shrugs. Sam looks at the digital clock on the night stand. 3am.

"Can't you wait until morning?" Sam is almost drifting back to sleep when it hits him. There is something wrong, he just can't place his finger on it yet.

"Well, you can't complain next time you want to talk," Dean says nonchalantly and moves to get up. "No, wait," Sam calls and Dean settles down again. "Do you really want to talk," Sam questions still confused. This is so unlike Dean. "Yeah, why not," is the only response he gets.

Sam sits on his bed, his back resting against the headboard and looks at his brother's expression. Tilting his head, he asks "are you okay. I mean, you're the one who avoids talking like hell."

"Yeah, I know. But I think…," Dean trails off, and looks intently at his baby brother. Taking a deep breath, he tries again. "We need to make it right. I need to make it right." Another pause, Dean seems unsure of what to say and Sam is getting worried. "Sam," Dean finally manages, "do you really hate me?"

"Dean, I told you I…"

"No, Sam," Dean cuts him off, "I know that you didn't mean exactly what you said, but you did that to some extend. What I really need to know is, in spite of all, how do you feel towards me?"

Sam's eyebrows making a beeline to his hairline, is startled by the question. What was going on with Dean? He was definitely acting like himself.

"Dean, what happened? You're acting weird."

The elder sibling looks away for a moment, not able to hold the scared look on his baby brother's face. When he faces Sam again, the youngest Winchester brother is sure he never saw his brother's eyes so brightly green in his entire life.

"Please, Sammy, just answer me." Dean's voice sounds tired, defeated and that scares the young brunet.

"No, I don't hate you." The honestly and emotion in Sam's voice doesn't leave a doubt in Dean's heart. But he needs to be sure. He needs to make the necessary amends.

"Then, why?" The simple question makes Sam mouth dry and his heart beats like it is about to get out of his chest.

"I don't know. I've been so angry and so sad and… I guess I needed to direct all this at someone and you were there, you're always there, no matter what." Sam is fighting to breathe and to keep his emotions in control. "I thought you're unbreakable. If I acknowledged that it was all my fault, that I was the one who didn't fit, I was the one who didn't understand, then I'd broke… I am broken." The youngest Winchester brother stopped and looked into his brother's eyes, and there again he saw that amazingly bright green looking sad at him. "But you, you can handle anything. You're strong, and I wanted so much to be like you." Sam is no longer following a line of thought, Dean realizes. Everything is coming at once, and he realizes his baby brother is facing his demons. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Dean. And yet I did. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Dean finally says and smiles at his brother before rising from the bed.

"Where are you going," Sam asks as he sees Dean leaving the room.

"I'm going to rest now," Dean smiles again, the fear and defeat no longer on his features. Dean looks calm, peaceful even, and it strikes Sam that he never saw his brother this way.

"Will you be here tomorrow," Sam finds himself asking, not really knowing why.

"I will always be with you, Sammy, all along the way," Dean reaches and ruffles his brother's hair, "never forget that." With that, the oldest brother walks out of the room and closes the door behind him.

"Dean!" Sam calls after his brother, but there is no answer, neither the blond comes back. Instinctively, Sam rests his hand on his neck and that's when he feels it, Dean's necklace is placed around his neck. Panic fills his mind and he is on his feet in a moment. He knew something was off. Sam's legs are trembling and he can barely keep himself from falling on his knees. The young Winchester places both hands on the doorknob, afraid of opening the door. _"This is silly, Dean is in there" _he tries to convince himself, but something, an unwelcome fear, takes over his senses. That's when Sam finally looks around. He is in Dean's room, not on his father's room. He was lying in Dean's bed, the other twin bed on the room empty, not even touched.

"Oh God." Sam sinks to his knees, realization finally hitting him. Tears cover his face and he is sobbing so hard his whole body shakes. The coldness of reality finally getting to him. Dean is dead. He was hit by a car the week before.

Dean had come to him to make amends. He had come to him to say goodbye.

To be continued

--Last chapter hopefully coming soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Author's notes at the end of the chapter.

**Nightmare**

**Chapter 3 (final)**

The world was spinning. Damn, his head ached. Stopping to think about, his whole body ached. The young man tried to open his eyes at first, but the light was blinding. There was this sound of hammer against wood. No, wait, that was his heart beating, aching. Taking a deep breath, he tried to open his eyes again and slowly took on his surroundings. By his side, resting against his left arm, all he could see was a mop of messy brown hair. "Sam?"

Sam Winchester raised his head so quick that he could hear the crack of his neck, but that was the least of his worries.

"Dean, you're awake," the boy stated with a wide smile.

"Well, apparently, so are you," the elder brother answered with a cocky smile. "Now, what the hell am I doing here, or better yet, where is here," Dean asked finally taking a good look at his surroundings.

"You don't remember," Sam said hesitant, puffy red eyes fixed on his big brother.

Dean stopped to think. He remembered… being dead? He remembered talking to Sam, what was pretty much unlike him, he thought to himself. He remembered asking why Sam hated him. He remembered his brother's answer… and then he remembered Sam searching for him and falling apart. Well, apparently that didn't happen, right? Because he didn't feel dead, although Dean wasn't sure how it was to feel dead, so he decided for the easier way, "nope, don't remember a thing."

Sam smiled, ready to tell the tale, and knowing exactly what his brother's reaction would be as soon as he learned how he ended on that hospital bed.

"Well, I don't know all the details, but apparently you were hit by a trunk and by the look of it, it was pretty ugly. You were out for two days."

"Really?" The winkled nose was exactly what Sam was expecting, "man, with everything we face, I ended up hit by a car? That is so stupid." The disbelief in the blonde's voice made Sam laugh relieved. When his brother's face turned serious, though, he got concerned.

Dean was confused. He remembered his brother thinking about the accident but how could he remember something his brother was thinking. Man, he had to find out what kind of drugs they give him, so he could avoid it for the rest of his life. But the dream kept playing on his mind over and over and suddenly he noticed Sam was talking to him.

"What, Sammy?"

The boy looked at his brother even more worried. "I was talking to you, but you seemed to be somewhere else, you didn't hear me. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Well, of course I'm not okay. I'm lying on a hospital bed, planning on how…" Dean stopped.

"Aunt Felicity works here, everything is arranged," Sam explained, hoping that this would ease his brother's worries but Dean's mind was in something else.

"Sam," Dean tried, but he didn't know how to say that, how to bring the subject. He knew that he needed to do that, he needed to know. Sam seemed to finally understand what was going on in his brother's mind.

"I… I don't know what I've done if you… Man, you can't leave me. You promised, remember?" Sam's voice was broken, and he was on verge of tears.

"So, you don't hate me," Dean asked, but it was more of a statement.

"No, of course no, Dean. I just…"

"I know, but please, next time you feel overwhelmed try something else, like getting in a bar fight or getting laid, okay?"

Sam looked at his brother, confused. Before even realized what he was doing, Dean continued. "Sammy, I always knew how broken I would be if I lost you, but I guess I never thought about how you'd feel if it was the only way around. And then, after the asylum, I just assumed you didn't care. But I never stopped caring. I can't stop caring. But now I know how you'd feel. I know how you feel. I am human, Sammy, I may be closer to perfection than you, but I'm still human. I'm no superman, I can break, too." The brunet was looking at his brother with wide eyes. How did Dean know? He never let him say how he felt, what he thought, he always managed to avoid talking about that. Sam was about to question, but was cut off by the elder.

"No, Sammy. I've had my portion of heart to heart for the rest of my life. Don't ask me how I know, I just know okay? I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time."

"I deserved that," Sam accepted. Dean smirked at that, "yeah, you did. But we're over that now, okay?"

"Okay" was the answer from the younger brother. "Now, what?"

"Well, as soon as I get out of here we'll go back on the road looking for Dad, I mean, if you want to go with me. If you don't, I'm okay with that." Sam eyes his brother suspicious. "Well, not exactly okay, but I can live with that as long as I know we're cool."

"Dean, we are cool, and yeah, I'll go with you, I'm with you and I'll be with you all along the way. You promised and I promise you back."

Dean smiled and Sam noticed relief washing over his brother's face.

"Now baby brother," Dean was cockily smiling, "I know Aunt Felicity has brought cookies, so hand me some now. I'm starving!"

The end.

A/N: I would never ever kill Dean, well, unless he could come back as a ghost, whitelighter or something just like I can't kill Chris. So, don't ever worry about my fics.

Thank you all who reviewed, I hope you enjoyed the ride. Second chapter was meant to be really sad and angsty, and well, when I read it later, it felt this way, at least for me. But I suck for happy endings, so I consider this a happy ending, don't you?

Again, thank you! And thank you all who write wonderful fic that inspire me to write more and more.

Last but not least, thanks for Jensen, Jared, the creators, directors and writers of Supernatural for giving us such a wonderful show and such wonderful characters.


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